It has been quite a while since I have posted from the heart and personal experience. Yet here I am at two o’ clock in the morning doing just that. I thought this was going to be a blog about relationships but I have come to realize that I would be to narrow minded to do such a thing. (Although I will be making a lot of references to it). Let me start with this: Let’s say you want to start a garden. Your neighbors have such a beautiful plants of bright colors and stature. You have seen them every few days watering the end product. You think to yourself – I can do that. I can have that. So you take yourself to the nearest greenery and buy your pots, soil and all the right seeds. You take great care in potting the soil and planting the seeds. You water it as per the instructions. Then one day you see the most wonderful thing you see the seedling starting to emerge. ‘Wow!’ you think. “I’m good. My work is done.’ A few days later you wonder why your seedling has withered away and died.
This is how life works. In every aspect of one life. Not just in relationships but in life itself. Many long for the end product but forget sometimes that you have to put in the time and effort to cultivate it to get to that end product. (I know that I have been guilty of this in many aspects of my life. Guess one can no longer just look outside the bubble.). To attain the garden it takes time to get it going. It takes time to figure out what you want to grow within your garden. What types of flowers and plants? What type of blend? and etc. Usually you don’t get it on the first, second or even third go round. Yet you keep going and trying. Knowing that you will eventually get it just to your particular liking.
In life we don’t always get it right. Actually we usually get it wrong. Yet that’s okay, as long as you keep at it. You’ll eventually create an end product that will make you proud to say “That was worth all my hard work.”
Love works this way as well. I tend to be a hopeless romantic. I believe in love at first sight. I believe in connections between people being exchange in a wonderful and beautiful manner. Yet this initial spark cannot sustain on it’s on or even remain there. Just like the garden, it must be cultivated, and worked on. Once you experience that intial spark it doesn’t mean your all set. Yeah! You can do what you did to the seedling and think “I’m all set!” Yet the results will be the same. Now if you go for the long game, this is what you get – a stronger bond, an unbreakable flow of power exchange, and the list goes on and on. To get to this point, its important to be present. To interact in a manner that positively strengths and serves the greater purpose. What is that? Your greater end game.
Now I am talking about putting in the effort and something money can’t buy “time”. One can have all the money in the world, yet if you don’t put in the effort and set aside the time. The garden can never come to life. The plants will never have a chance to enjoy the sunlight. the exchange could never grow into it’s true potential. Now when I was talking about relationships I mentioned money. I brought this up because I was thinking about many stories of couples that I have seen on social media that have stayed together for decades and still felt that spark. I came up with a comparison of two different types. The first tend to be the modest type. Not having much, actually just having each other. They work “together” to get what they need and in the process assisting each other to grow into a better form of their individual self. The second couple are driven and have far more than they need. They strive for more things and neglect to work on the exchange (no matter what form it may take) between the two. Fast forward about thirty years, – The first couple has made working together such a routine that it becomes natural and gives those that follow a goal to strive for (Remember the neighbors garden that motivated you to start your own?) The second looks at each other as strangers and wonder “How did we stay with each other so long?”. This doesn’t have to only apply within romantic relationships, it applies to friendships in any form.
Now I could hit other aspect of life and living that falls within these parameter. Neglect of interaction (or sometimes fear), can cause stagnation of goals, enjoyment, learning and relationships. All these things can be seen within the garden that one takes care of. All it takes is one’s effort and time. Most of all patience.