This last year plus has been a lot for us… Okay its been a lot for the entire world. All of us have been provided an abundance of time to contemplate different aspects on subjects we would overlook under normal circumstance. Providing us the time to make the proper adjustments to our lives as needed, or one would assume. Recently I took the time to conduct what I like to call a “relationship check”. A relationship check is a quick assessment of the different types of relationships that you are involved in. Now I’m not speaking specifically romantic relationships although they can be included within this check. Let me explain in more detail.

I will try to explain this in plain and detailed language. A relationship check is when you conduct a periodic check of the growth within your interactions of the different types of relationship you have with others. Now the growth I’m speaking of is not financial or monetarily. I’m speaking of the mental and substantially connection you have with any particular individual. I came to this realization after a personal interaction with a friend that I have known for years. The discussions and arguments were the same ones that we have had since the moments we first met so many years ago. Now this doesn’t mean that they didn’t grow as a person. (Keep in mind, its not our place to elevate the growth of another person). Nor does it mean that I didn’t grow as a person, either? What this actually shows is that particular relationship have not provided any substantial growth for you as well as them. For me it was like our interaction was stuck in a time loop. Basically after the amount of time that has lapse from the moment you meant to the moment you decided to conduct your check.

Relationship and interactions that get “stuck” like this is actually a danger to one’s growth. When you are conducting your relationship check, you are not looking for the why. In all actuality its all about YOUR personal growth. Conducting these checks periodical is the best way to identify toxic relationship or the signs of its development before it gets out of hand. There are some key questions you must ask while conducting your check. Mind you the following are only suggestions:

• Have our interactions evolved with my evolving life?
• Do we have the same discussions with the same or no
  results?
• Is your interaction with this individual conducted out of
  pleasure or painful obligations?
• What do I actually get out of the interaction?

These are only a few questions you can ask yourself when you are conducting your relationship check. Don’t allow habit or familiarity stop you from growing.

There are several benefits to conducting a relationship check. The most beneficial is identifying where boundaries have been crossed and your growth has been stunned. In my opinion this check is essential to one’s mental health.